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Stalk the Canucks on Google Earth, which, as it happens, just got Keslurked

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Here’s a screenshot of Google Earth’s street view, just outside of the Hotel Valencia on Santana Row in San Jose. It’s where the Canucks stay when they travel down the coast to play the San Jose Sharks. Say, who’s that on the corner? Is that Aaron Rome? Come to think of it, the gaggle of besuited men standing around that bench looks oddly familiar too.

Let’s zoom in.

Why, that’s Jannik Hansen (or Alex Edler?, Chris Higgins, Chris Tanev (I think), Mason Raymond, a Sedin (or maybe that’s Jannik Hansen?), Cory Schneider, and Manny Malhotra!

Edit: It’s not Chris Tanev, It’s Jeff Tambellini, of all people. Via Melaina, here’s a Jeff Vinnick shot from the Behind the Lens gallery that seems to line up. (You can actually spot Vinnick on the corner near Rome if you head down the street).

The presence of Jeff Tambellini (and the playoff beards) seriously dates this post. Amazing that these photos were taken in May of 2011 and we’re just finding them now.

Seriously, Google Earth makes me nervous. Sure, it occasionally provides touching stories of lost boys finding their mothers, but most of the time it just captures people in an unfortunate state of undress. And the fact that I can creep on the Canucks coming out of their hotel room from my living room is terrifying.

So what’s going on here? Well, if you look to the right, you’ll notice a gigantic bus, so it’s a safe bet that the Google streetcam just happened to pass by when the team was gathering to head to the rink for practice or a game. That’s uncanny.

If they’re looking for Ryan Kesler, all they need to do is zoom out, then head on down around the corner, to the entrance of the Tommy Bahama store.

There he is. Even with his face blurred out in a fuzzy Google Earth shot, his alpha male swagger and Astro Boy hair is as clear as day.

Look at him, doing it all on his own, not even bothering to use his linemates.

But wait. Here’s a philosophical conundrum: What was the purpose of this shot? Because if it was to photograph the street and the entrance to the Tommy Bahama store and Ryan Kesler just happened to pop up it, I’m pretty sure that makes this a Keslurk. As a matter of fact, as the self-appointed authority on what is and isn’t a Keslurk, I’m positive this is a Keslurk.

So let’s make it official.

Boom. Join the club, Google Earth. You just got got.

s/t to Hanna Baird-Harren.

Tags: google earth, how random is this, jeff tambellini, keslurked, Keslurking, San Jose Sharks